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Blushing Brides by SFBart

The general blog entry below is another plea for marriage equality, and says about the same thing that many posts for marriage equality say.  What I find interesting however, is the string of comments that followed.  One commenter wanted to know, specifically, what rights a person is denied by only having a civil union instead of a marriage in Vermont, and the writer of the editorial really doesn’t provide any answer to that question. The other person leaves the dialogue feeling assured that the issue isn’t equal rights, but rather the issue is about the ability to use the term marriage.

 

This is the kind of person we want to engage in dialogue!  It is someone who appears interested in what rights are being denied.  They are a potential ally, and the type of ally we need as marriage equality issues are placed on ballots.  But this dialogue doesn’t end having won over a supporter. 

My 2 cents:

We must be ready to move past the easy statement that marriage equality is important to be able to articulate more specifically what rights and obligations are encountered when we deal with marriage as opposed to civil unions.  Or, if the issue is that GLBTQ people just really want to be able to use the term “marriage” then we need to say that.

I don’t think it is.  I think there are real and concrete legal differences between a civil union and a marriage, that fall outside of the issue of religious ceremony.  But I also think it is true that there are Gay and lesbian couples for whom it is all about the word marriage.  For them, to be able to se the same word seems to make marriage mean more than civil union. For me, these people are a problem.  They muddy the issue.  They are the str8 assimilationists for whom, there is some pre-subscribed idea of what is and isn’t OK about having relationships. but that is a digression from the purpose of this post, and a topic left best for another day.

So what I would hope any reader might take away from this:  We need to recognize who are likely allies and be willing to engage in dialogue that goes further than, “we deserve this right.” and we need to understand what Marriage Equality means for us- really means for us. We know what it means for those who seek to deny it to us.  For them it means the destruction of the traditional family unit and an encroachment on their religious beliefs.  That is important to know, because then we know what it is we need to educate people about.  Now, we need the same clarity about our own motivations, so at points of potential education, we are successful.

My Turn: Time is right for marriage equality | burlingtonfreepress.com | The Burlington Free Press.

photo credit: SFBart