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@oneloveblog posted about this on Twitter today, and I wanted to add a few thoughts. Mary Cheney and her “long-time partner” are having another baby. While Mary hasn’t been the rabid supporter of crazy stuff like her sister, she has none the less remained very loyal to her father and the conservative movement, and after this birth is planning to start a consulting business with her sister, Liz. How scary is that?

First, I wish her all the best as her family grows. Real families are lesbian and gay families every bit as much as they are straight families, and I applaud her for continuing to make that visible. I think too, it really demands that those of us who are fighting for full equal rights  stop and consider what all of this means.  How is it that within the conservative movement that seems to rely on either Family Values or defending our country, that this image of a gay family exists and has so little power to change minds or the actions of the conservative movement? In other words, why do we let the conservative right,  ”own” family values as if it were a conservative idea, and progressives get framed as anti-family?

For me, this isn’t just about gay marriage, although the legal recognition of same-sex marriage is one major step in protecting gay and lesbian families. It is rather, about visibility, and it is about money or status. If the Cheneys didn’t hold the solid place so close to the core of the Republican Party, would a lesbian mom-to-be ever be such a prominent figure? Or would she have been pushed aside long ago? Why do the rights and privileges of marriage seem unimportant to Mary Cheney and her partner? What role does money and power play to provide them the safety net or other things that help support their family?

While the Republican Party is scrambling to redefine itself, and the far right faction seems to have taken over, one of the other main tenets of conservatism is small government and fiscal responsibility which equates to cutting taxes on the rich, and cutting programs for the poor and middle class. If we are to make headway from a legislative perspective on gay marriage and legal support for GLBTQ families, we need to reframe the “Family Values” discourse, so that it is less about upholding the Bible, and it becomes about actually doing things that help real families- all families thrive. We also need to recognize the role played by the “fiscal responsibility” arm of conservatism. We need to make visible the class elements of it, and identify how this is used along with the far right anti-gay parts of the conservative movement. In other words, it isn’t just the Bible-thumping anti-gay message that keeps conservatives from denying full equality to all families. It is the energy and emotionalism from this anti-gay hatred, supported by the basic class-based status quo.

Until we do, some gay and lesbian families, those in a place of power and wealth will continue to do fine, while the vast majority have no rights.

Kate Klonick – Full Court Press – Mary Cheney pregnant with second child – True/Slant.