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Breaking News: A&E to rebrand itself with launch of new Duck Dynasty season

A&E ConferderateIt was announced recently, that filming of Duck Dynasty with all cast members will resume in 2014 effectively ending the suspension of family patriarch Phil Robertson, but what wasn’t announced is A&E’s plans to rebrand itself to coincide with the show based on the lessons learned during the manufactured controversy. Thomascwaters.com has obtained secret early stage renderings of the new A&E logo which is designed to help the station build upon the success it created with the fake outrage over Robertson’s GQ interview. An unidentified spokesperson said:

At first we thought we needed to care about our LGBT employees, but then we realized there’s a huge chunk of America out there just dying to be reminded how them blacks had it better before they had civil rights and stuff. And who knew enough people didn’t know what the 1st amendment really said, and would be happy for us to bash the gays. Them gays still have reruns of Will and Grace on some other station to keep them occupied. We pointed out to those few employees that they could like the big sums of cash we were making or take a hike. We know what side of the bread is buttered and that’s white bread to be sure. We also realized that there is a world market for the show, and have already begun translating it into Russian, Nigerian, and the language of any other country where they think gays are sinful. Families praying together stay together especially when there is a profit to be made, and we want to be on that bandwagon for sure!

It’s believed the company is exploring other new reality programs since it seems to you can say anything, claim it is your religious views and get away with it. Who would thought there was a market for that in 2013?