WEBCommentary(tm) – Miss USA And The Ugly Counterculture
Okay, I’m really tired of the Miss California-I-was-so-mistreated garbage. I don’t have any expectations that my post, added to all the verbiage out there is going to make it stop, but at least I’ll feel better after getting it off my chest. The final straw for me was the linked commentary below. Now, Christians are the victims? Good grief. But the part that really made my blood boil was this:
She returned an equally direct and honest answer that was well thought out and expressed,
THAT’s when I said, OK, I’m tired of being quiet- I am going to write about this.
First, here is my opinion on what happened. Then, some ranting about all that has transpired since.
Hilton posed a reasonable and excellent question to the constestent. It was far from an easy question. The topic is truly controversial. A good answer would have to be thoughtful, honest, and respectful of both sides of the issue. The constestent may have got the honest part right, but failed big time on thoughtful or respectful. The vote fell as it did. I don’t see any problem with that. Then Hilton added insult to injury by being his normal controversial self calling her names. He was a total ass, and single-handedly presented to the National Organization for Marriage their only hope for gaining any popularity.
I have no problems with the fact that she expressed her personal viewpoint against same-sex marriage. But that wasn’t the question. No one asked her what was her personal feelings about the subject. She didn’t really answer the question posed to her. Not only that, but in voicing her personal opinion, she did so in a highly offensive way, while saying some things that are either untrue or just confusing. I can’t find much of anything that Hilton did after the answer that was acceptable, except how he scored her. Past that, he was a total fail! So she failed in her answer, and he failed in his response to the answer.
Now, it is no surprise that Perez Hilton acted without class, respect, or common decency. He is Perez Hilton, and to expect him to rise to any reasonable level of respectful discourse would be expecting too much. He’s a gossip queen who knows how to stir the pot so the speak. But that is no excuse for his actions either. Miss CA’s answer however was totally surprising. Her inability to walk the fine line between sharing one’s personal viewpoints but doing it in a way that is respectful of all, is alarming, and shows her to be inadequate to be the winner. That’s why I believe she deserved a poor score.
So, let’s look at both the question and the answer:
Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalise same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit. Why or why not?
Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage …. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be – between a man and a woman. Thank you very much.
That she didn’t realize that her answer would come across as offensive is no surprise. She goes to a Christian school where there is little diversity of opinions or people. She is very used to environments where there isn’t two very different and highly emotional viewpoints to things. And I truly feel bad for her in that regard. When you live sheltered away, you lack the experiences to enable you to act more compassionately towards everyone.
So, what does her answer mean? Mr. Adamo feels it was well thought out, direct and honest. When you cut through everything, she basically said, “No, every state should not follow because I think marriage is between a man and a woman. The entire country should go one way, because she thinks so? Because she thinks so? I can see that this would be a sufficient reason why she might do something, but Hilton’s question asked her what she thought the rest of the country should do, and personal opinion just isn’t enough to go on. it may have beren an honest portrayal of her feelings, but lousy reasoning. Now, if she had said, she believed that most Americans were not ready to accept same-sex marriage and tradition hold marriage to be between a man and a woman. That may still have pissed off some people, but it would have been a reasonable argument to support her position. and if she had said something along the lines of ” I think we as a country need to find a way that the rights of all can be protected while at the same time protecting the traditiuonal definition of marriage,” she would have started to display some well-thought out respectful dialogue that both is true to her personal beliefs and aknowledges that not everyone holds the same views.
Come on, Mr Adamo! Well, thought out? Direct? What does it mean to say, “I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other?” First, this is inaccurate. Only people in three states can choose one or the other (although one or the other what is a reasonable follow-up). but here is her first step away from a winning answer. Here she is trying to find something to say that will reflect the diverse opinions on this issue. She wants to come across as pro- freedom to choose. I think she genuinely doesn’t want to force others to see things only her way. That’s fine, but she just didn’t find the right words. Yes, thinking on your feet is hard. winners can do it more successfully than she did.
But here’s the part where she failed big time. “And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe…” Her country? Her family? By speaking in the possessive of “my,” she alienates all those who feel differently than she does. They must not belong in “her country?” But wait, that is a direct contradiction to her first statement that Americans can choose one or the other. So which is it? My Country! My Way? Or Americans can choose?
Mr Adamo, if respecting both sides of a highly emotionally charged issue is being politically correct, then we need more of that all around, not only with this subject. but I don’t think the lack of a “politically correct” answer is what caused her loss. It was the lack of a well expressed comment that allowed her to be true to her personal feelings, but spoke to the issue in such a way that both respected differing viewpoints and was a valid argument for the question of “why or why not.”
I can’t disagree with Mr Adamo that Hilton’s behavior post the episode was atrocious at best. I don’t however think Hilton speaks for me or the thousands of GLBTQ people who are demanding equal rights. The GLBTQ communities are no more monolithic than the straight community.
What’s unfortunate is how Miss CA has been treated through all of this including how she is being used by Mr Adamo to advance his own cause. She said, “No offense to anybody out there.” It was not her intent to cause a controversy with her answer. In that sense, she isn’t dumb as Hilton labeled her, but naive. So now she is being exploited by all sides in this battle over marriage.
The other thing that has happened is that the real issue- why same-sex couples do or do not deserve equal rights is again lost in craziness. I tend to think that’s how they like it. There are no valid emotional-less valid reasons why loving committed same-sex couples do not deserve equal rights under the law. When a straight couple is married there are about 1000 civil rights and civil privileges that become theirs immediately. Same-sex couples who have a civil union- about one quarter as many of those, and for couples like myself and my partner who have been together 10 years… nothing.
WEBCommentary(tm) – Miss USA And The Ugly Counterculture.
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