I received a poignant email today from a close friend relating a story about their family- my friend, friend’s partner, and their mother. The details are unimportant, but suffice to say, it was one of those experiences shared, that brought tears to my eyes. Bittersweet tears, given the sincerity, and beauty of it, in the midst of also sadness, and on this Mother’s day, brought me to memories of my own mother who has been gone for over 15 years.  My mother was an amazing woman who had touched so many people’s lives in the time she was here on this globe. I am so much of the person I am today, good and bad because of her, as so many of us are the products of the parents who loved us and taught us as they raised us. I remember vividly coming to terms with the fact that I am very much my mother in the way I see the world and interact with it. Today I take pride in that (and yes, it has been the source of some therapy).

The Mother’s Day of 2012 follows on the week, when our President made history by being the first President to so openly support Same-sex Marriage. An act of great bravery according to some, and perhaps also simply a required acknowledgement given the reality of the world we live in, and the experiences that have surrounded him. Same-sex Marriage is so much more than the ability to get a marriage license and say, “I do.” It is the basis of all the legal protections and responsibilities that define our families. It is the beginning of saying that we are more than individuals acting alone in this world, and it is the way, we truly are just like everyone else, regardless of sexual orientation. We love, we commit, and we grow as families.

The single greatest fallacy that the Far Right uses against LGBTQ Civil Rights is the accusation that we are destroying the family, which could not be further from the truth. If anything Marriage Equality does more to protect the family than any other piece of legislation out there. Because we are already mothers and fathers and our families deserve equality. They deserve safety and legal protection and cultural support and acceptance. Their hate-filed fallacy has another dimension too. With it, they seek to silence all of us who are also sisters, and brothers, and daughters and sons. The Far Rights fallacy robs so many families; harms so many families today, as gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and queer children hide a part of themselves from their loved ones for fear.

My mother wasn’t always very comfortable with the fact that I was gay. She had her own process of acceptance, and at various times after that she had a few ups and downs. Like when my sister began to have children, I had already been out for many years, but she had a renewed desire for me to be straight and produce some grandchildren for her too. All of these were bumps and parts of our journey as a family. But that is what familys do- they stay on a journey together and grow and evolve and love. I am so grateful for all of the experiences I shared with my mother, and all that I am because of them. My gayness in no way lessened by ability to be a son or our realness as a family- or the greatness of the family that we were and still are, even though she is now gone.

Family and days like today, that honor familial relationships are not heterosexual domains. They belong to us all and are days when the sameness of all families is revealed.  We are today and everyday, sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. The families of our birth and the families we build together are al real and genuine; meaningful, and important. And most importantly they can be visible and celebrated on days that like this, Mother’s Day 2012.