Anyone who knows me can vouch for the fact that I am far from an American Football fan. I’m not utterly turned off by Sports, but I generally think Football is a total waste of time, money and effort. That said, Micheal Sam is, in my opinion responsible for two of the most significant events in the recent struggle for LGBTQ Equality. Within the span of a few minutes, he was both drafted to an NFL team and he displayed to anyone watching ESPN the very real and intimate experience of two boyfriends celebrating the most significant event of Sam’s career to date. They kissed, and kissed a few times as they both cried tears of happiness. A record number of Americans can be labeled as “fans” for the professional sport. And few areas of culture are the bastion of hyper masculinity that Football is understood to be.
The Harris Poll conducted a survey last week in the three days following the “Monday Night Football” replacement officials fiasco. The results: 59 percent of the country follows football. That’s a record number.
So what happens when an awareness of “gay” is thrust into the headlines where 177,000,000 fans are focused? Time will tell, but if history is any indication, the result will be a growing understanding and acceptance of gay men. Homophobia, discrimination and the attacks based on sexual orientation can only exist in an arena where gays are othered and treated as less than real men. But no more when it comes to the NFL!
It would be unfair to many however to treat Sam as if he is the sole reason this recent development was possible. Yes, he has done something no one else has done- entered the NFL while being openly gay. But this was possible partly because of efforts of many who have come before him, including guys like Chris Kluwe who has been outspoken in support of LGBT issues and especially Marriage Equality. Additionally the St Louis Rams deserve credit for drafting him, and placing his ability to play as more important than his sexual orientation.
Sam isn’t really there yet. While drafted, he still has to actually make the team and end up on the playing field, and the coming game days will be the space within which real progress against homophobia will be made. But without being drafted, it is unclear if that next step could even happen.
That brings us to the other event which will forever have changed the LGBTQ movement. Upon hearing 0f being drafted, Sam and his boyfriend are filmed by ESPN, kissing a few times while both are visibly emotionally, overwhelmed by the news.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKwsqAERmic[/youtube]
My favorite tweet regarding it was this:
”Everyone else kissed their girlfriend.” Exactly. You shut up. @BeezyMcGee pic.twitter.com/smUML5C6WN
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) May 10, 2014
Exactly!
This visible intimacy was tremendous, and can do more than anything else to make real in the hearts and minds of many a gay football player as well as gay male intimacy.
Gender and Race
I want to comment on the intersection of Race and whatever else it at play in tis situation where sexual orientation and gender expression are both seen in demonstrative ways. I generally wouldn’t think of these as entwined except for the fact that many believe it is harder for gay black men to be so visible because there is a greater stigma attacked to homosexuality within the Black Community. But that isn’t it. Michael Sam seems to have no issue with being out as a gay man. Several posts on Facebook illustrate the issues for me. One Facebook acquaintance (not an actual friend I know personally) wrote:
I’m happy for the guy. I just thought he reacted pretty white n’ gay. ?#?michaelsam?
and in subsequent comments said:
I have no idea. I wasn’t commenting to who he’s sleeping with. I was commenting on his reaction to being drafted.
And I have seen commentary on other profiles about him and his white boyfriend. I could care less. I just think his reaction just didn’t ring culturally.
His reaction is just the sort of thing some uber gay uber white guy would do.
So the fact that Sam cried is a “white gay” behavior? The person making these comments is black. I suppose not, for he adds:
Dude shut up. What I’m talkin’ about has nothing to do with tears.
So one has to wonder what it does have to do with? What is the “appropriate” gender expression for Michael Sam? Another person commenting added:
Maybe he thinks he’s white n gay. Let him be whoever he fancies himself to be. That said, I had the same reaction. Wanted him to be tough, to butch up. Then, I paused and thought: what a magnificent thing- for that boy to express whatever is in his soul.
Another individual who is an actual friend, took some exception to my calling Sam’s draft so historic. He countered with pointing out how a drag queen won the Eurovision content, and wrote:
While I too share in the joy of Michael Sam, my point with Cochita Würst is the confrontation of the gender binary. Yet another gay Black man with huge muscles only serves to reenforce that binary rather than contradict it.
Some would say that of the two, a gay guy in a dress reinforces stereotypes far more than a gay football player, but what person’s gender binary is not the same as another’s I suppose. How interesting it is to me that here are two different persons who have utterly different perceptions on the very same person’s actions when it comes to what a seems to be normative gender expression and what is not.
Fascinating and monumental! Even the language used by all the various participants I’m citing is provocative:
pretty white n’ gay
his white boyfriend
he thinks he’s white n gay
for that boy to express
uber gay uber white guy
gay Black man with huge muscles
I should note I’ve clipped small bits of the conversation, and do not mean for it to seem as if it represents the whole of these dialogues or the totality of impressions. They do however, reflect interesting, and potentially contradictory ideas about race, gender, gender expression, and identity.
A dialogue only just begun.
These issues surrounding Sports, gender expression, race, and gay male intimacy have only begun both with the LGBTQ community as well as the more general society at large. And that’s why I believe these two events, an NFL draft pick and a celebratory kiss between boyfriends are two of the most important events for America’s LGBTQ Rights in the recent past.