On Memorial Day, we remember and honor our service members past and present. We acknowledge their commitment and sacrifice and service. If we are open to seeing these men and women as full human beings, we must remember that their relationships matter too.
All senses of homophobia revolve around rigid notions of masculinity and what it means to be a real man. The recent news about Billy Bean, Daniel Murphy, and Russell Tovey illustrate this idea.
We must quit talking about Gay Rights as if it is an all inclusive term. We have to stop talking about Gay Marriage as if it is a good descriptor, and we must do everything we can to prompt all of culture to talk more broadly about sexual orientation and identity, as well as gender identity and expression.
In regards to Wayne’s letter, free speech entitles people to say really stupid stuff sometimes. But when this is all they have, it is clear that the future for gay, lesbian bi, trans and queer people is getting better by the day.
If the State has an interest in maintaining birth rates (and I’m not entirely certain that it does) it can better serve that end by putting all of the focus on improving there economy, raising wages and providing adequate services to help families.
But Phelp’s death wasn’t the really interesting element of the story, even though most have focused on that. Nate Phelps claims his Father was excommunicated from WBC, and in a vague statement addressing questions today, the Church is only saying that membership issues are private.
This pastor doesn’t intend to be so hateful (even as he is). Rather, his intention is to identify gays and lesbians as “accepting a lifestyle” in a very very Old Testament type of way. He is perpetuating a myth that isn’t based in any reality. That doesn’t keep it from being hate speech or harmful.
The other story sitting just out of sight, is that there are already gay and bi players in the NFL. Could be one or it could be dozens, but they are there. What will they do because of Sam’s announcement as well as with the whatever the NFL puts forward like the about garbage regarding homophobia, locker rooms and chemical balance? Will they continue to live and play football in the closet and acquiesce to the homophobia? Time will tell.
The single most important thing to do in relation to groups like the FRC, is to call them out and hold them accountable for their lies and fear mongering. WE shouldn’t try to silence them. To do so allows their monster images to remain rather than shrivel in the light of the truth. We need to let them speak this stuff and then confront it with reality- our realities and real sharing of our real humanity.
Gay and gaydar are both terms that exclude and carry connotations that aren’t really very helpful today, or in thinking about changes to the heteronormativity of the status quo.